Sunday, June 17, 2012

Journal Entry from 04/21/12 - Tracting Hardships

April 21, 2012
It is hard work to be a missionary in the bible belt! I seriously had no motivation to do anything today. It was dreadful outside...ok it wasnt dreadful it was just gloomy. And no one we wanted to see was home...ugh...and then a ray of sunshine peaked out of the clouds and that was just enough to get me to say lets go tract this street. We knocked on the first door no one answered. I wasnt exactly happy, i was about as gloomy as the sky and i thought to myself. these people are gonna have no idea that i love them with this attitude! But ugh i am just exhausted! But i gotta make sure they know right when they open the door i love the gospel! the next door was a Mansion! i thought oh no...(yeah i was a little on the judgemental side thinking there would be a lot of pride) They had a drive up like a hotel for their cars they parked under this onning and they had black pavement and these statues and pond thing and a pool in the back and just looked wow, and extremely nice cars. So I had a battle within myself praying to Heavenly Father and i said ok please just let them be nice when they reject me. and then i thought wait i cant handle rejection right now. i am NOT in the mood. I am sick of being rejected and it is just ridiculous. there has got to be someone...and i was like i swear if they reject me i am gonna just throw in the towel for the day! (yes these people had a long driveway that i could have time to think ALL these things!) then I thought oh man i didnt mean that, Heavenly Father i know satan wants me to be like that but i promise if this is the worst experience i have thus far on my mission i promise i will knock on another door....but pleeeease dont let this be the one! and then i thought how i love the gospel and how it makes me happy so that way when they answer the door i can be sincere as i bare my testimony. anyway so i battled and battled. I got to the door and we rang the bell. to my surprise a blonde lady answered with a smile. ok this is good! and i did my simple door approach and she said she had a few minutes. WHAT!? so she let us in. I felt like we walked a mile to get to her living room, and we talked to her and her name was Doreen and she knew another family from our ward. well, a friend of hers just 2 weeks ago invited her to their church so she has been going there. she is trying her best to get her kids to go because she says they really need something...ANYTHING she can get them to right now. but holy cow! that made me so happy that a nice lady was behind that door and her heart was soft. but yeah this week has been so long and that was a blessing for me to have a nice lady talk to us.

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